The past couple of months I've really been trying to work on myself. Tying to stay happy and positive. Ive kept my feelings in a small cage locked away, its just a small cage and now its cramped with no room for more. I feel like the door is about to bust open and all the feelings and emotions are going to flood my life. Im drawing a blank.theres so much i want to write but for some reason i cant. I feel like im weak but im trying to stay strong and optimistic. Life has beed fucked up for me.haaha. no, ive made my own life fucked up for me. I'm The cause of the depression, the sadness, the loneliness, and pain. Theres nothing or no one to blame but myself. As much as I want to write about what's been going on, I'm not. One day it will get better. If I am positive life will become positive.life, what is this life? The question of all questions. The more I think about life the more unreal it becomes. We all roam this earth day to day not even thinking about what it all means. We live our lives to survive and then what? Did I really waste away the one life I was given by being unhappy? But an unhappy life is the only life I've ever known. I gotta ditch it. I'm trying. I can be happy, i will be happy.